“Oh my gosh my arm is broken huh, it’s broken?!” As we take the hour-long drive to Toole that seemed like ten days excitement and laughter warmed the truck. We passed this huge mountain talking about people who have gotten life flighted from there and almost killed. We all kind of just thought to ourselves. “I have never even broke a bone or got one stitch I’m all good.” I say to everyone around me. I never thought I would have to deal with that.
Kesha
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3 comments:
I really like the way you didn't give a lot of detail in order to get the reader interested. You gave just enough information to leave the reader asking for more. I also like how you began the paragraph with a quote... it's very personal and makes the reader feel kind of like they are almost there with you. One thing you could do is give more details about the scenery that you saw at this time. It would make the reader feel even more involved in the story by giving them a visual and putting them in the story with you.
Breaking a bone is no fun, especially when it's not an actual break. I had a hairline fracture in my elbow from falling on the ground quickly.
I cant really tell what this is about, but i guess if you meant to leave out alot of information, than it was written well.... ha.
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